For a number of reasons, I just cannot gather the energy or the will to keep fooling myself with all this. I just came back from walking the dog and I thought about nothing but this the entire half an hour before I decided.

I actually considered just emptying my gallery, erasing my existence from DA and not mention it to anyone, but that would simply be too rude so that is why I am letting you know that I probably won't be coming back. Therefore the hiatus.

I am truly sorry about this, so many of you have been so sweet and kind and you've made me stay on for a while longer. Please, don't try to make me change my mind, it'll just make me feel worse than I already feel.

I'll leave one deviation up.

Take care. I'll try that with myself as well. And one more time, I'm sorry. Thanks for the comments, favourites and watches.

Yup. I've been trying to scan a couple of my sketches that look good enough to be posted (one of them is of Roxas from KHII) but it looks a lot like the performance of my scanner is, indeed, fading back into darkness. *smacks it with a Keyblade*

I suppose I'll start poking the gadget with my fingers (and eventually, with knives) to make it do a better job. It's just that my *style* has a lot of thin lines that are absolutely necessary, my stuff just won't make any sense without them.

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Kingdom Hearts II has proven to be an endless source for joy and even inspiration, I can't seem to get enough of it. So many lovely, lovely characters that I want to steal away from Square Enix and Tetsuya Nomura. One of these days I'm going to find a bottle containing a message in the town river. That message will be from King Mickey, granting me the rights to any character(s). Which would be Axel, Roxas, Zexion, Demyx, Sora and Riku. All of them have my undying love. Especially Axel and Roxas.

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The gradutation exam I had on Monday was a huge shock in terms of difficulty. I literally was ready to faint upon reading through the questions. Studying for hours and hours didn't exactly mean anything. But I got through it with my pride intact.

Mostly my mind's been full of my future: what to study, where, how am I actually going to live on my own and so on. There are so many things I'd like to do but I'm afraid I will lose interest or that I'll have to give up something important.

I probably think too much.

I have a very hugely big exam on Monday and the last few days I've been doing not much else than studying. Philophy. A graduation test. Probably the most important one I'll take.. right after French which is coming next year around March. Including today I have three days left to ease my anxiety by going over and over and over the already familiar theories and philosophers.

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Though I did take a break from studying today and played Kingdom Hearts II since for me it's the best way to forget about cold, harsh reality.

I BEAT SEPHIROTH. The ultimate boss Kingdom Hearts has to offer. I sent his sorry ass from here to oblivion. With Oblivion the Keyblade. Such a joy to watch him admit that "you're very skilled" after beating the life out of his 15 health bars. I R GOD. There's nothing left for me in the game anymore now that I taught Sephie a lesson.

I just may choose "New Game" and enjoy playing as Roxas. He is my favourite character of all KH. I have a very soft spot for him.

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As for drawing, I've mostly sketched something that I ended up hating in an hour or so. Sorry about not submitting anything. Really, I am.

So tagged me.

The Stupid Quiz ~ how stupid are you?
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[x] Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were talking.

[x] Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were NOT talking.

[x] You have ran into a glass/screen door.

[ ] You have jumped out/off of a moving vehicle.

[x] You have thought of something funny and laughed out loud, then people gave you weird looks.

[ ] You have ran into a tree.

[ ] It is possible to lick your elbow

[x] You just tried to lick your elbow. (I HAD TO CHECK! AGAIN!)

[x] You never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star have the same tune.

[x] You just tried to sing them.

[ ] You have tripped on your shoelace and fallen.

[ ] You have choked on your own spit.

[ ] You have seen the the Matrix and still don't get it.

[ ] You didn't notice that in the last question "the" was spelled twice

[ ] You just looked at it

[x] Your hair is blonde/dirty blonde. (Well, I'm a blondish redhead...)

[ ] People have called you slow.

[ ] You have accidentally caught something on fire.

[ ] You tried to drink out of a straw, but it went into your nose/eyes.

[x] You have caught yourself drooling. (I blame it on the yaoi I have...)

[ ] You've fallen asleep in class.

[x] If someone says "fart" you laugh. (It really depends on the situation, but if it comes out right at a perfect moment...)

[ ] Sometimes you just stop thinking.

[x] You are telling a story and forget what you were talking about. (Hey, happens to everyone now and then.)

[ ] People shake their heads and walk away from you.

[ ] You are often told to use your "inside voice"

[ ] You use your fingers to do simple math.

[ ] You have eaten a bug.

[ ] You are taking this test when you should be doing something important.

[ ] You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn't realize it.

[x] You've looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand, hair or pocket.

[ ] You sometimes post bulletins because you are scared that what they say will happen to you if you don't even when you know it won't happen to you.

[ ] You break a lot of things.

[ ] Your friends know not to use big words around you.

[ ] You sometimes tilt your head when you're confused.

[x] You have fallen out of your chair before. (In a fit of laughter.)

[ ] When you're laying in bed, you try to find pictures in the texture of the ceiling. (Used to do that as a kid and kept seeing eyes everywhere on the ceiling...)

[ ] The word "umm" is used many times a day.

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13/38 - Perhaps I'm spared from the STUPID mark on my forehead.

Everyone is absolutely free to do this as they will.

!! EDIT !!

A dA member, Celine, is in need of help. She needs a place to stay for her and her cats. Urgently.

To read more of her situation click -> [link]

Providing a link to her page is the only thing I can do for her, hopefully someone is able to do more.

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I got tagged by

The rules are:
1. Post these rules
2. Each person tagged must post 8 random facts about themselves
3. Tags should write a journal/blog of these facts
4. At the end of the post 8 more persons are tagged and named
5. Go to their page and leave a comment telling them they're tagged

-----------------------------------------------

1. Whenever I go to sauna (and that's usually 7-8 pm), I think about all the inside jokes between me and my friends and laugh alone. Loudly.

2. Lock, Shock and Barrel (from Tim Burton's Nightmare Before Christmas) make me swear. A lot.

3. I think horses are sexy. Really sexy.

4. I can scratch the back of my head with my toes. Talk about flexible.

5. I love analyzing license plates.

6. If I'm in a frustrated mood, I get sarcastic and I start insulting everything I see with such wit that my mother can barely breathe because she's laughing so hard.

7. I can't figure out how I feel about books. Sometimes I love them, sometimes I despise them.

8. I have daily long discussions with my cat. "Meow." "Meowww." "Meoooow." "Meow!" And so on.

That was interesting. I'm really bad at tagging people so I'm just going to say whoever feels like taking the time to think about all the weird and wonderful things that make you the person you are.. fire away. Let me know, though. I probably want to read your answers.

____

I've actually been having a lot of fun in art class. It's not as difficult as I thought it would be and it looks a lot like my muses have come back. I've actually been drawing, not sketching. But I can't decide which ones I should put up and when they're ready to be put up. And I'm not very happy with the scanner I currently have.

There's a Japanese exhange student at my school. Her name is Natsuki and I drew her in class.

And I'm not sick anymore.

But I'm starting to get really stressed over my graduation exams which will resume this month with Swedish and philosophy.